My 14 year old keeps defending her deadbeat/drug addicted dad?

My ex husband and I seperated 13 years ago. My daughter was 1. Since then, our house has been robbed several times, my tip money has been stolen (over the years), my childrens bank accounts have been emptied. Easter cards with money in them have been kept by dad. He refuses to pay child support.


I have re-married and had three more children. Ryan, our baby died last year of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. My ex-husband took up collections, and kept the money, never gave a penny to us. Two months after Ryan died, unfortunately, our house caught fire (electrical) and burned down. We lost everything and had no insurance. He took up another collection and kept everything. I was too much in shock to do anything.


Now, I am better (state of mind) and I am nailing him for child support and considering a civil suit against him.


My 14 year old is LIVID and tells me she hates me for doing this to her dad. She never even sees him?How can she view him as the victim because I am finally stepping up

My 14 year old keeps defending her deadbeat/drug addicted dad?
I work for a counselor and I have learned that someitmes children will take up for partents that are no good because the child thinks that it will make the parent love them. They believe that they can change them and make them see that they are not bad children. Kids tend to believe that they are the reason that there parents arent around. Tehy believe that they did something wrong. You may need to seek counseling for you daughter. She will one day see that it is not her fault and this will be when she needs you the most. Try to be there for her and let her do what she needs to do. Hope this helps. You are in my prayes.


Sweet Kacey
Reply:first of all, don't let your children know about what goes on in the court room. your the adult the parent and she is the child. children love both parents regardless of faults. if the father is telling her what's going on give her the best answer you can give by informing her it is an adult matter and the court handles that affair. that she needs not to worry everything is alright. hope this helps
Reply:OK so you married a liar, thief, con man and probably more and all you want to do is get your money back! Have his *** thrown in jail and let the state prove how evil this man is.


Now that you have moved on sit her down and show with facts how he cares nothing about her. If he did he would never have taken so much from her future. Give it time and be honest with her as to how you feel as well. The truth will set you free!
Reply:totally take all this to court, she is 14 she dont know better but this is a good time to teach her, take her to court have the judge talk to her. and maybe cousling too.
Reply:I AM A DAD,N I THINK ITS CAUSE SHE LOVES HIM AND MISSES HIM,,AND I THINK YOU SHOULDNT LET HER NO URE REAL FEELINGS ABOUT HER DAD,,EVEN THOUG HE IS A REAL LOOSER....BUT WHAT SHE DONT NO ITS NOT GOING TO HURT HER...PEACE N LOVE TO U N URE FAMILY...
Reply:Y are you letting him take the money??


TAKE HIS *** TO COURT!
Reply:I think she loves her dad, and the fact that she never sees him only makes her want him more. And she's still a little girl, and she wants her parents to be together. She's willing to forgive her father for what he did, and she sees what you're doing to her father as going against her wishes. She still loves her dad, you see. She believes that he loves her too, even if he may not, and that's all that matters to her.





You have to remember that she's still mostly a little girl, and she needs a father. She still looks up to her father, as all little girls do. You have to be patient with her.





I don't think bringing her to court is a good idea. It will only make her think that you're a cruel person.
Reply:i think she blames you for not seeing her dad that she's blinded by the other horrible things he's doing i was just like that. my dad was and is cheating on my mom and i kept defending him but now that i know the truth i dont do that anymore and the only reason that is, is because my mom was honest to me about what my dad was doing. if she has evidence of what her dad is doing she won't believe in him so much. show her, tell her she may get emotional but dont let that stop you.
Reply:Does your daughter know about the things you listed above that her father has done?? If not, then she definitely wouldn't understand. Either way, no matter what, this is her dad, and she will always want to stick up for him. My husband's father was terrible to him, and my husband is still (at 30 yrs old) wanting his father's approval. My brother's dad is abusive to women and a drug addict, but he wants to be like his dad, because he doesn't know any other dad. All children look up to their parents, and will defend them even in the light of negativity. I think you are doing the right thing, and in time, your daughter will have the maturity to understand the person her dad really is. Someone mentioned taking her to court with you, might not be a bad idea.

rain roots